The last ride

The late afternoon sun is casting long shadows behind us. Happily you walk with me as we approach the gate. Out for an autumn forest ride. Our last forest ride. It’s only me who is melancholic, you have no clue.
Outside you are waiting patiently until I have fixed the girth, stirrups and my helmet. Once I mount, I feel you want to go, yet waiting for my signal. A little opening of the knees, and quietly you walk away from the parking lot.
In the forest the trees have been coloring. What once was green, now is red, yellow and brown. The last sunbeams peak trough the trees as they play even more with the colors.
We cross the road. It’s busy on the road. You don’t care.
We meet another horse. Frantically jumping around, big and black with a blaze. The girl is very tensed. Spurs, whip, protection around the legs of that horse, extra rains for braking, very short stirrups. As we pass, the horse almost freaks out. I try to greet the girl but she is far too busy controlling her horse. All you do is raise an ear. If you would have eyebrows, you would have raised one. Easily we walk on with long rains in the evening forest.
I snirk. Why the hell would you want such a sport horse? But then I remember that just a year ago we were jumping through the forest just like that. We’ve come far.

As we move on you decide the way. I just make sure we stay on riding tracks as I lose myself in the colors and the trees. Today you may decide the speed as well. Easily walking over little paths, full speed gallop over wide open lanes. I close my eyes and feel your muscles working. I hear your footsteps in the sand and feel the wind around my face. When I open my eyes I have no clue where we are. As the dusk sets in I decide to give you completely free rains. Through the dark forest over little paths where we have never been before you guide me home. Illegal that is, as you take us away from the riding tracks to take the shortest route. The soothing, secure tölt rhythm of your hoofs makes me fully trust you on the way back.

Today we stand next to the gate again. In the high grass we are waiting. You still have no clue what is going on, and you don’t care as you get to eat the high, fresh grass. A trailer approaches and enthusiastically you follow me outside the fence. We’re going somewhere! As I walk you in the trailer I feel like a betrayer. A selfish fool. What the hell am I doing? A last kiss and an apple before the trailer drives away. I’m left behind, you go alone.

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A year and a day

And suddenly I realized.
It has been a year and a day.
A year and a day that I have not been writing on my blog.
A year and a day in which a lot has happened.
A year and a day in which I have been alive as never before.
A year and a day where I took risks and chances.
A year and a day in which I’ve laughed and cried.

Up to the next year and a day filled with love and laughter, and hopefully a bit more blog updates!

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Just smile and wave!

The weather is beautiful outside. It is 16 degrees Celsius, the sun is shining like there is no tomorrow, and yet it is autumn. I should go out on this sunny day to enjoy the last waves of summer.

But frankly, I don’t want to. In fact, I haven’t even opened my curtains today. Because I know when I open them, I let the outside world in my save little room, and together, that leaves me exposed to the outside world. Than I’ll have to put on the happy face and smile again.
Most people know me like smiling forever after. This image I have created myself, on purpose. It is good, for people to see me smiling.

Imagine this: You walk in the mornings over street. Doesn’t matter if it is from home to your car, to the bus or to work. You meet people. Your todays mood isn’t completely determined yet. Your eyes cross with a stranger, who throws a smile at you. All you can do when something is thrown at you unexpectedly is catch it instinctively isn’t it? So you catch the smile, realize the day ain’t that bad, and you throw one back at the stranger.
Imagine how the stranger feels, getting smiled at the whole day.

You see my strategy. I smile at people. Even when I don’t feel like smiling. The dear ones who really know me, see when the smile is fake. But that doesn’t influence the effect on strangers. All the smiles I get back, give me so much positive energy, and with me, everyone around me. And thus, I was creating energy out of nothing. (And herewith, I nominate myself for the Nobel price of Physics for my everyday activity of creating energy out of nothing)

Once I got the comment whether this is the right thing. To smile the whole day, pretending the happy girl I would want to be. But the thing is, I’m not pretending to be anything I’m not. I just fake a smile once in a while. Is that a crime?

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Time for a change!

By summer changing into autumn, I thought it was about time to transport my weblog to a new domain.

I’m still trying to figure things out, at least all my old weblog posts are here, but I’m not sure that I can publish my pictures in photo-albums here as well. Since I’m busy busy with daily life as well, it might take some time for me to have it all figured out, but drafts for a new entry are in my head. I just can’t seem to get them on paper, but as soon as the right words are coming to my mind I will share them.

Hopefully see you soon!

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Hello Stranger

I think of you, you know. Every day of the week. I have conversations with you. In the shower, and in my bed, on my bike to school. How can I think of someone I don’t know?

I see your reflections in the pond in the park. You are staring at me from behind the windows in the shoppingstreet. You seem to be in every car that passes me.

I miss you stranger, I wish you would be here with me. I wish you’d come around more often. How can I miss someone who doesn’t exist?

Last night we were dancing under the starry sky. You sang me songs and I told you stories. I laughed at you and I cried over you.

I don’t even know how to say what I feel for you. I’d almost say I’m in love with you, Stranger.

Who are you?

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Dear Mister Frosti

There you are, in the garden, in the park, in the forest and even on the busstation. With a grin on your face you are challenging the world. Challenging the grumpy frozen people passing by to get a smile on their faces while they watch you standing there. They are struggeling. Dutch nowadays are not used to see you anymore, at least not for such a long time. Some feel horribly watched by you, others don’t feel the threat and build even more of you, Mister Frosti.

People are trying to get rid of you. They spread salt all over the streets. Don’t take it personal Mister Frosti, it is just dangerous when the snow melts and freezes again in the night! It gets all ice and slippery. As long as you are standing in the park people do not fear you. But usually you don’t bring only joy, you tend to bring both trafficjams and a lot of accidents on the road.

Almost you had won, almost all the salt was gone and man-kind had lost their weapon. Almost victory to you, Mister Frosti! Until the Dutch were triggering their old saltmine, deep deep in the ground again.

You have been standing here for a long while now Mister Frosti, eventhough it cannot be long enough for me. First of you was made over a month ago! You are starting to melt a little away now Mister Frosti, you get smaller and smaller each day. The forecast doesn’t seem too well for you, some people will be happy when you are gone. But the kids who have made you will be so said, and so will I.

I’m just coming back from my daily jogging in the park where I saw one of you standing. Your carrot nose had fallen out of your face, and your button eyes were halfway down your cheeks. Water was dropping down your scarf and soon your hat will have nothing to sit on. Before you are completely gone we had a little chat, you and I. I had only one question:

Will you please come back Mister Frosti?

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It happened…

It happened the morning of the 18th of December. Aka My Birthday.
The evening before we -me and some of my roommates- had been playing a few games, drinking some wine, liquer and whiskey, and we started off my birthday at 00.00 with a real snowball fight in the garden.

After we had ruined the garden into a true battle-field we went off to bed, preceded by a glass of hot chocolate and a warm shower.

The following morning I woke up quite early, and there it happened.
The whole world seemed to stand still, the clock seemed to pause. Everything around it went black. It hit me like a pang, it was as if the floor disappeard from under my feet.
There it was.

A wrinkle.

Right there, on my forehead. Just sitting there. After a close inspection I decided it could be covered with a winter hat. Pulling open the curtains I realised it was cold enough to wear one. Clear blue sky and the snow still there. Everything white and frozen.winter.09.uitzicht3

View from my window

Excited I forgot all about the wrinkle, ran upstairs, quickly putted some clothes on and went off to the city centre.
This took me over an hour, which normally takes only 15 minutes. Mainly cause the bus just did not show up.

I started to wonder, people in the buscabin started complaining that ‘if there is 5 cm of snow in Belgium the whole country is stuck’. Which is kind of true of course. (eventhough there was more than 5 cm of snow the last days) People are stuck on trainstations, huge trafficjams everywhere…
But is it really true?
Should we (Holland/Belgium) start to learn from Scandinavia? Where they have a lot more snow each year than we do? Where everything just keeps going and everyone just keeps living when the snow comes?

Or should we maybe learn from their attitude?
Maybe ‘them in the north’ (or anywhere in the world where they cope with severe winters) are just not so stressed as we are. Here people get crazy if the bus is 10 or 20 minutes late. Maybe we should just not worry that much. I mean, we know that it is dangerous on the road when there is snow and ice, so we know that the bus will be late. So if we need to be somewhere in time, why don’t we just take a bus earlier? And if we can’t, won’t everyone understand why we are a bit late to an appointment? Or don’t show up if it is not that important?

Anyway, I made it to the city, I bought myself a new hat and a pair of gloves, fitting to my jacket. I was drinking hot chocolate with a friend in the chocolate-bar, and was looking at the glass house (3 radio dj’s spend a whole week in a glass house without food, to raise money against Malaria) which was really nice!
To close off the day I bought myself a pot off anti-aging creme, so my wrinkle will disappear with the snow!

winter.09.gent.01

Ghent, beautiful old city centre

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